'Maury' Joins the Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy
(Pregnancy prevented guaranteed, or we'll tell you who your babby daddy is for free!)
Rice vigorously defends Bush on interrogations
(Wait...still? Again? What exactly happened in the last election?? Was it all a dream? Is Bush really Dictator for Life??)
Farmer possibly gave swine flu to pigs
(Um, ok, you can love your pigs, just don't looove your pigs.)
'Wolverine' bites chunk out of box office
(Ok, but Wolverine doesn't really bite. How about 'takes a slice out of box office'? Or 'cuts up the competition'? I'm not sure he even ate anything in this movie...)
Men don't have 'guilty' pleasures
(So...the use of quotation marks leads me to believe that men either don't have consciences or all their pleasures are innocent and pure. Hmm, toughy...)
Friends Defend Jon Gosselin as a Faithful Husband
(Hmm, Jon & Kate & His chippy on the Side plus 8 and maybe a couple more if the Maury Show doesn't go Jon's way.)
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