It's Earth Day! Here are some ways you can help our Mother survive!

--Turn off that air conditioner! Our ancestors managed the 100+ heat just fine without it.              
(Yeah, and they also had a thicker layer of ozone and a thinner layer of fat!)
 
--Pick up any litter you see!                
(And pick up a little you don't see too, why be so lazy about it?!) 
 
--Walk more, drive less!                  
(Hey, it's a better excuse to be late for work than you usually have.) 
 
--Conserve water by bathing less! 
(Hey, it's a better excuse to be stinky than you usually have.)

--Turn off the lights of the rooms you're not in
(How the hell do I turn off lights while I'm not in the room? Who am I, Criss Angel??)
 
--Think about getting a Hybrid rather than your gas-guzzling SUV
(Right. I'm thinking....thinking....man I sure am thinking hard. Am I done now?)
 
--Don't throw your batteries out with the rest of your garbage, dispose of them properly.
(I still say they just toss it all on the same heap when no one's looking anyway)
 
--Write your representative about solar power, wind energy and other alternative energy sources. They care and listen to their voters’ opinions.
(BWAH HAHAHA AHAHAHAH suuure they do hahahahah ohhhhhh…oh, wait, you’re serious??)
 
You should do these things for our Earth. You should do these things for your children. And your children's children.  

But most of all, you should do these things so we don't have to.