Both Sides of Everything

Things I'm Not Afraid to Admit, But Maybe Should Be

-I have a gorgeous husband and adorable nieces and nephews. Yet Robert Downey Jr/ aka Tony Stark aka Iron Man is on my computer background.

-I have no idea what 'The Hills' are. Or is. Or was.

-Sarah Palin frightens me. So do her kids, Track and Field.

-I didn't watch 90210 when it was old and vapid, I have no intention of watching it now that it's new and vapid.

-I don't find 'Bush is stupid' jokes funny anymore. It's not funny, cuz it's true.

-I wish I could get sick with some horrid disease just so House could save me.

-If House couldn't save me, I wish Booth and Bones would find whoever gave me the awful disease. (I'm a bit of a Fox-whore. Except for their news dept.)

-If it is in my bathroom, I will read it. I have read hairspray bottles, for lack of anything better.

-Something called 'World War Hulk' was in my bathroom recently. I liked it. I suspect it is my husband's doing.

-In our pursuit to buy our first home, I'm quite actively hoping for those poor souls who are losing their homes to lose them in nice neighborhoods with low HOA fees.

-Recently, outside my apartment door, I heard rapid footsteps, then a loud thud as something crashed to the floor, followed by an overhasty child's 'WAHHH!!!' The whole thing sounded so cartoony, it gave me the giggles. I laughed louder than the 'WAHHH!'s.

I think I might be a little mean...

Top Ten Weirdest Celebrity Views:

-Alicia Keys declaring that gangsta rap is not the voice of disenfranchised urban black youth at all. No, no. It was invented by the white man to destroy all black people!
(I can see it now. Some white CIA agents in a secret location working it all out:
-"How do we destroy them? How?"
-"I got it! Listen to this: 'Yo! I was walking down the street....chaka-booom, with my own two feet! Chakaboom, shoot the cops!"
-"My God man, that's perfect! They'll eat it up! And it will destroy them!" *Evil laughter*)

-Paris Hilton believing she deserves to be famous.
(And a generation's worth of brainless teenagers who seem to agree with her. Be afraid. Be very afraid.)

-'New York' believing she is talented.
(Perhaps one day she'll realize her show is really based on viewers slowing down during zapping to stare at the terrifying car wreck that she calls her 'personality.')

-Various celebrities who think it's perfectly alright to give your babies ridiculous names. Like:
Apple
Story
Ocean
Moon Unit
Audio Science
Pilot Inspektor
(For those who like naming their kids using common words that refer to objects and jobs)

Coco
Suri
Tallulah
(For those who simply have no taste)

George I, II, III, IV, and V
Prince Michael I and II
Messiah Ya’majesty
(For those who are lazy and/or have aristocratic delusions of grandeur)

Kyd
Tu Morrow
(For those who mistakenly believe their puns are clever)

Zoltan
Kal-El
Seven Sirius
Moxie CrimeFighter
Sage Moon Blood
(For the truly insane)

Tabooger
(For those who just really hate their kid)

-Tom Cruise believing that taking aspirine will allow Xenu to eat your babies.
(Or something)

-Mel Gibson believing that a lot of booze will prevent the Jews from eating his babies.
(Or something)