A few things we've noticed being on vacation in the South:
-85F in Savannah is not the same as 85F in Los Angeles. (HUMID!)
-You can drive 90 mph through Georgia & Alabama for 2 days, but you will invariably get caught doing 79 mph in Mississippi. (And you can't even flirt your way out!)
-Historic hotels are cool, but do they really need to keep the original mattresses??
-People keep asking us if we drove all the way from California.
-Psychics suck. (Don't ask!)
-The wife gets her old accent back right quick while down here, hehe.
-Waitresses in the South will chastize you for not finishing your food.
-California needs more sweet tea!
May 2008
May 28, 2008
Checkin' in from N'awlins!
May 22, 2008
Things I Learned Working in a Call Center
-If a customer asks to speak to someone's supervisor, they will likely speak with that person's cube mate.
This is an age-old tactic.
--"Hey, Sam, pretend to be my boss!"--
-If a customer gets told, "Let me put you on hold for a moment while I look into this," it inevitably means the Customer Service Rep is:
a) laughing at them and sharing the story of idiocy with anyone in earshot
b) eating lunch
c) hoping the customer gets tired of being on hold and hangs up
d) all of the above.
--"Oh my god, this woman thinks because her network is wireless she doesn't need to plug in her computer!"--
-No one has time to monitor your call for 'quality assurance.' And when they do, they're also on Ebay and checking their Hotmail, not really paying attention to your call.
-Sometimes a Customer Service Rep won't give a customer their name at the start of the call. It's likely because:
a) They know they may end up hanging up on the customer, giving them crappy answers, or putting them on hold indefinitely, so they don't want the customer to report them to their supervisor.
b) They plan to give excellent customer service, but don't want the customer asking for them by name next time they call!
--Really, once you help someone, they will come to you forever. And expect you to remember them and their previous problems!--
-Phone prompt menus are deliberately confusing. They are designed in the hope that customers get frustrated and give up.
--Press 'one' for English,
--Press 'two' for espanol.
--Press 'three' if you were born in a leap year.
--Press 'four' if you think you know what your problem is, but aren't certain.
--Press 'five' if you want to talk to a live person.
--Press 'six' if you want to talk to a dead person.
--Press 'seven' if you are calling from a rotary phone.--
-While it is frustrating for relatively intelligent customers to get asked the same basic, stupid questions (did you make sure your cell phone was turned on? did you check the cables? did you restart your computer?) they are asked for a very important reason: Most People Are Idiots.
--"Can I have your ID number?"
--"I don't know what my ID number is."
--"Do you have your ID card?"
--"Yes."
--"It's the numbers after the words 'ID Number'."
--"Oh, I found it!"--
May 19, 2008
May 13, 2008
May 08, 2008
Ten Tings That Occurred To Me While Watching Lord of the Rings:
-That Frodo guy is a real downer when you take him on long hiking trips
-Pure, almost god-like Elven Princesses really have a thing for scruffy, unwashed dudes perpetually covered in mud.
-Ok, so Sauron wants to conquer the whole world. But does he really know nothing better to do with it than turn it into a pile of black kitty litter?
- The wise, powerful, perfect Elves talk a good game, but most of them just bail when the things get tough. (‘Oh we were just, uh, going into the West. Anyway, good luck with that Sauron thing’)
-If they’d tossed Merry and Pippin off a cliff early on, they probably would’ve won the war ten minutes in to the second movie already.
-Sam drags Frodo through half a continent. Looks for food, makes the fires, prepares the meals and saves Frodo’s life about every 5 minutes by fishing him from rivers, fighting off Gollum and enormous spiders……yet he still has to call him ‘MISTER Frodo’.
-Gandalf tells Frodo not to kill Gollum because it’s ‘not up to them’ and he ‘might still have a role to play’. Yet his solution for every other critter they encounter is to hack them into little pieces.
(I’m sure those critters felt they still had a role to play too, pal)
-British school kids that wander into magical realms via cupboards are very annoying…oh, wait, wrong saga…
-Can’t shake the feeling that Gimli guy and that walking Tree are related.
-Elven….Forest…..Queens………talk…………………very…………slowly………do………they….not?
-Apparently, if you’re a giant floating eye made of fire, you think you can conquer the world with a ring that seems to do nothing but make you invisible and depressed.
May 02, 2008
May 01, 2008
Ten Things You'll never Hear Paris Hilton Say:
-Please, no limo. I like to take walks.
-Pfff, enough parties. I’m staying home with a good book.
-I’ve had too much to drink. I couldn’t possibly get behind the wheel of a car now.
-My purse costs less than your car.
-I don’t depend on my family. I like to make my own way in the world.
-Man I look like a skeleton! I need to eat something!
-I accidentally hit this parked car! Let me leave a note with my name and contact information.
-There’s just too much emphasis on physical appearance in our culture.
-I work hard for my money.
-I work for my money.
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