UnrulyWeds

The (Financial) State of California

 
 

In Honor of Michael Jackson and The Effect He Had On Our Lives...

'Things that Make You Go Hmmm' MJ Lyrics:
 
-"You're Just A Buffet, You're A Vegetable, They Eat Off Of You, You're A Vegetable" 
Um...ok, I'm a what now? 
 
-"Annie Are You OK? So, Annie Are You OK? Are You OK, Annie?"
I think if you have to ask that many times, the answer is an implied 'no'. Particularly given all the evidence at the scene...

-"Just Promise Me Whatever We Say Or Whatever We Do To Each Other, For Now We'll Make A Vow To Just Keep It In The Closet"
Ok, but just for now. What exactly is the waiting period before I can do a tell-all about Naomi Campbell's vajayjay anyway?
 
-"I Took My Baby On A Saturday Bang"
I just want to know what a Saturday bang is, cuz I think I missed out on something really awesome in my adolesence...
 
-"I've Been A Victim Of A Selfish Kind Of Love"
There's nothing wrong with self-love. I mean, maybe your spouse isn't always in the mood!

 
"Born To Amuse, To Inspire, To Delight;
Here One Day, Gone One Night
Like A Sunset, Dying With The Rising Of The Moon;
Gone Too Soon"
 
Word.

This Week in Things!

Things We Weren't Shocked By...

-Perez Hilton got smacked around by a celebrity.

-Jon & Kate filed for divorce.

-Shia Lebeouf tried to defend being a mother-lover and failed.

-Iran had a dirty election.

-The US got beat in soccer.
 
 
Things We Were Somewhat Surprised By...

-Brad Pitt called Mel Gibson 'Sugar Tits' at an awards show! Cool though....

-Nadal dropped out of Wimbledon.

-Chris Brown plead guilty.

-Tiger Woods only tied for 6th at the US Open.
 

Things We Were Floored By...
....................?
 
We are very hard to shock, but the prices of hard liquor and hookers are getting a little out of hand.

 

Relationships 101: Men, Women and the Love of Violent Entertainment

 
  

Wasn't It Sexy When...

-Patrick Swayze as Johnny Castle lip synchs "And I owe it all to you!" to Baby in 'Dirty Dancing'.  
 Riight, adorable. *Yawn*. At least you women had eye candy in that movie....
 
-House MD gave Cuddy an injection in the...lower, lower, lower back area.
So it was the injection that was hot, not her bending over and lifting her skirt?
Let's just say it was a combination of her doing that and the symbolism of him, uh, sticking something in her, hehehe.
Men are pigs....
 
-Brad Pitt as JD shows off his robbery skills to Thelma in 'Thelma & Louise'.
Oh, the movie otherwise known as 'All the Ways Men Suck'. 
 
-Angelina Jolie in that Dominatrix outfit in 'Mr & Mrs Smith'. Hmm, those boots went up all the way...
You men and dominatrixes....so, what you're saying is you'd love it if I slapped you around more. I can do that.
 
-Richard Gere as Zack Mayo carries Paula out of the factory in 'An Officer and a Gentleman'.
Oh, the movie otherwise known as 'Wow, That Chick is a Crazy Biatch Ho!'
 
-That scene in 'Blue Velvet' where Isabella Rosselini, on her knees, makes Kyle MacLachlan strip while threatening him with a knife, and then forcing him to stand still as she starts to ah...heheh....well, you know.
'Forcing him'.....riiiight, I bet he was just DYING to get away.

-Kate Beckinsale in 'Underworld', in that vinyl catsuit...well, pretty much every scene she's wearing that...
And again with the dominatrixy outfits....seriously, I'm starting to see a pattern here.
Good, because I already ordered your catsuit...
Hey!
 
-Spike and Buffy get...close on the balcony.
Yeah, I got nothing. That was hot.

  

Which Celebrity Relationship Creeps Us Out the Most?

 
 

Cubicle Life: Things Heard Around The Office

Boss: 'Those of you who got good ratings this year have just raised the bar, so you'll have to do even better next year to get the same rating.'
Employee(aside) 'So if we just whack the high performers, the bar will lower back to a manageable level.'
 
New Person: 'Where's the color printer?' 
Old person: *Laughs in New Person's Face and hands her some colored highlighters*
 
Random Employee: 'My Wii Fit chastised me last night for not playing enough. And then it told my boyfriend on me! And then it told me I should tell my boyfriend I think he looks good. Since when does Nintendo do relationship counseling?'
 
Depressed Random Employee: 'So I just got an email that our pension plan is being taken away!'
Boss Attempting to be Comforting: 'Just be lucky you all have a job at this point.'
 
Disgruntled client: 'I want to speak to your supervisor!'
Employee: 'She's in meetings all day, she'll have to call you back.'
Client: 'Then I want to speak to her assistant.'
Employee: 'She doesn't have an assistant.'
Client: 'No, that won't work. I want the name of someone higher than your supervisor.'
(*Because you ain't no one if you don't have an assistant!*)
 
Random Employee: 'I don't want to get married. Cuz if I die, my wife will get my money and spend it on a new person.'
 
HR: 'You seem like a tight-knit team. What would you do if a new person came on?'
Employee: 'Beat them into submission and harass them until they conform.'

 

Who Is Your Fictional Fantasy Doctor?

 
 

Things I Wish My Spouse Understood/Appreciated

Hubby: Stoppage Time 
Wifey: What is that, the amount of times I stop your amorous advances?

Wifey: The Infield Fly Rule 
Hubby: Does that have something to do with my zipper?? What do you want, I'm European!

Hubby: Black Adder/Fawlty Towers/Monty Python 
Wifey: Sorry, I don't get your British snake references...

Wifey: My Infatuation with British Royalty 
Hubby: Oh sure, you slobber over their young prince, but can't get their humor?!

Wifey: Why I Want a Monkey 
Hubby: What you want is a cute little gorilla baby! And you know what happens when it grows up to be a giant Silverback and gets all Alpha Male on us?  He'll go from pet to your new husband after he pounds me into the ground, that's what!  Hope ya like your new furry sexlife!

Hubby: How an Ape is not a Monkey Anyways
Wifey: Oh fine, be all technical about it! I still want one.
 
Wifey: The Significance of the Electoral College 
Hubby: Oh, yes, please DO explain that one to me. Your silly, antiquated system...
 
Hubby: The Significance of the Phoenix Saga 
Wifey: That's to do with the comic strips, right??

Wifey: Twitter 
Hubby: It just encourages that annoying netspeak that we hate! And the character limit means you can't finish a