UnrulyWeds

When Things Get Sketchy...

Unruly Commentary

 

WHEN SHE DRIVES...

 

Things I'm Not Afraid to Admit, But Maybe Should Be

-I have a gorgeous husband and adorable nieces and nephews. Yet Robert Downey Jr/ aka Tony Stark aka Iron Man is on my computer background.

-I have no idea what 'The Hills' are. Or is. Or was.

-Sarah Palin frightens me. So do her kids, Track and Field.

-I didn't watch 90210 when it was old and vapid, I have no intention of watching it now that it's new and vapid.

-I don't find 'Bush is stupid' jokes funny anymore. It's not funny, cuz it's true.

-I wish I could get sick with some horrid disease just so House could save me.

-If House couldn't save me, I wish Booth and Bones would find whoever gave me the awful disease. (I'm a bit of a Fox-whore. Except for their news dept.)

-If it is in my bathroom, I will read it. I have read hairspray bottles, for lack of anything better.

-Something called 'World War Hulk' was in my bathroom recently. I liked it. I suspect it is my husband's doing.

-In our pursuit to buy our first home, I'm quite actively hoping for those poor souls who are losing their homes to lose them in nice neighborhoods with low HOA fees.

-Recently, outside my apartment door, I heard rapid footsteps, then a loud thud as something crashed to the floor, followed by an overhasty child's 'WAHHH!!!' The whole thing sounded so cartoony, it gave me the giggles. I laughed louder than the 'WAHHH!'s.

I think I might be a little mean...

Top Ten Weirdest Celebrity Views:

-Alicia Keys declaring that gangsta rap is not the voice of disenfranchised urban black youth at all. No, no. It was invented by the white man to destroy all black people!
(I can see it now. Some white CIA agents in a secret location working it all out:
-"How do we destroy them? How?"
-"I got it! Listen to this: 'Yo! I was walking down the street....chaka-booom, with my own two feet! Chakaboom, shoot the cops!"
-"My God man, that's perfect! They'll eat it up! And it will destroy them!" *Evil laughter*)

-Paris Hilton believing she deserves to be famous.
(And a generation's worth of brainless teenagers who seem to agree with her. Be afraid. Be very afraid.)

-'New York' believing she is talented.
(Perhaps one day she'll realize her show is really based on viewers slowing down during zapping to stare at the terrifying car wreck that she calls her 'personality.')

-Various celebrities who think it's perfectly alright to give your babies ridiculous names. Like:
Apple
Story
Ocean
Moon Unit
Audio Science
Pilot Inspektor
(For those who like naming their kids using common words that refer to objects and jobs)

Coco
Suri
Tallulah
(For those who simply have no taste)

George I, II, III, IV, and V
Prince Michael I and II
Messiah Ya’majesty
(For those who are lazy and/or have aristocratic delusions of grandeur)

Kyd
Tu Morrow
(For those who mistakenly believe their puns are clever)

Zoltan
Kal-El
Seven Sirius
Moxie CrimeFighter
Sage Moon Blood
(For the truly insane)

Tabooger
(For those who just really hate their kid)

-Tom Cruise believing that taking aspirine will allow Xenu to eat your babies.
(Or something)

-Mel Gibson believing that a lot of booze will prevent the Jews from eating his babies.
(Or something)

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Hot Wife At The San Diego Comicon

Happenings at the 2008 San Diego Comic Con:

-Hotels think that charging you quadruple prices for stinky rooms with missing remotes, noisy ACs, misshaped beds and pillows that smell like dead grandmothers is perfectly normal. It's ComiCon!!

-There's still an extraordinary large amount of attendees who seem to think that deodorant is just a thing for ‘other people’.
 
-My pretty wife got hit on a lot. Me, not so much. Such are the ways of the ComiCon.
(Hey fellas, you can look all ya like! Touch, and they'll find your body in many different places....)
 
-Too many kids. Since when are comics for kids, anyway? No, really. Have you read some of these comics? I'm almost too young to read them!

-When you're trying to watch the premiere of 'Wolverine & the X-Men' it's bad enough that that hyperactive little snot of a kid in front of you constantly bounces his ugly little toilet-brush head in front of the screen, but when he reaches back to where your wife sits with crossed legs and grabs the high heel of her boot to start playing with it, you're in a whole new world of 'disturbing'...

-However, one thing I do appreciate about kids is the sheer awe and wonder of seeing a real, live superhero. The kids don't need to know that every other day of the year Batman works in Accounts Receivable.
 
-Eliza Dushku is one of those people that is actually even hotter and more adorable than on the screen. This was illustrated when my wife almost went gay for her.

-Nathan Fillion (Firefly/Serenity) and James Callis (Battlestar Galactica) are more of those people that are just cool, nice and genuinely funny in real life. This was illustrated when I almost went gay for them. (Hey, I'm man enough to admit to a little man crush every now and then. Oh wait, that's 'bromance' now, isn't it?)

-Joss Whedon is so talented and smart that in spite of looking like some pile of dough dressed in dirty old laundry, he could probably seduce someone like Eliza Dushku if he were so inclined. (Seriously, this girl has a mentor crush on him the size of Alaska)

-In real life, Starbuck is hotter than Six. (Really!)

-A seller can tell you a statue is $130, and tell you 5 minutes later that it's $200. Then add that whoever told you it was $130 was lying. Without irony.
 
-We realized we were not the demographic for a big chunk of Comic Con when we saw people dressed up in big squares of styrofoam and felt, with huge eyes pasted on. I don't even know what that was all about, but they lumbered around the hall quite oddly. And kids flocked to them. Creepy Pied Pipers, they were.

-My wife can get a bigger discount by just smiling and batting her eyes at some stand keeper than I can by haggling. So I let her. No, I'm not proud of it, but having that limited edition Rogue statue for half price makes it all worthwhile.

-Having diarrhea during ComiCon really, really, really, really sucks....

Strange Days Indeed...

Okay, posts are not as regular as they should be. Sorry. Swamped with work (The kind that pays!) and the Lovely Wife is on a business trip.

Speaking of, this is the first time we've been apart longer than 8-9 hours in six years. Yes. We've been attached at the hip.

So suddenly, I have to return to Bachelordom for a week. People tell me to enjoy it. I was fine when I was a bachelor, but I find that it's hard to go back...

Things I've eaten this week:
-Frozen meal
-Burger and Fries
-Chinese food.
-Leftover chinese food
-Frozen meal
-Frozen meal
-Potato chips
-A french fry I foud under the couch (I think it's from this week...)
-A potatochip I found under the couch. (Probably not from this week)

Then there's
-The empty spot on the couch
-The empty spot in the bed
-The utter silence save for TV
-Also, not a lot of nookie

Gotta tellya, this 'Enjoy your week of Bachelordom' is for the birds!