Things We Weren't Shocked By...
-Perez Hilton got smacked around by a celebrity.
-Jon & Kate filed for divorce.
-Shia Lebeouf tried to defend being a mother-lover and failed.
-Iran had a dirty election.
-The US got beat in soccer.
Things We Were Somewhat Surprised By...
-Brad Pitt called Mel Gibson 'Sugar Tits' at an awards show! Cool though....
-Nadal dropped out of Wimbledon.
-Chris Brown plead guilty.
-Tiger Woods only tied for 6th at the US Open.
Things We Were Floored By...
....................?
We are very hard to shock, but the prices of hard liquor and hookers are getting a little out of hand.
-Patrick Swayze as Johnny Castle lip synchs "And I owe it all to you!" to Baby in 'Dirty Dancing'.
Riight, adorable. *Yawn*. At least you women had eye candy in that movie....
-House MD gave Cuddy an injection in the...lower, lower, lower back area.
So it was the injection that was hot, not her bending over and lifting her skirt?
Let's just say it was a combination of her doing that and the symbolism of him, uh, sticking something in her, hehehe.
Men are pigs....
-Brad Pitt as JD shows off his robbery skills to Thelma in 'Thelma & Louise'.
Oh, the movie otherwise known as 'All the Ways Men Suck'.
-Angelina Jolie in that Dominatrix outfit in 'Mr & Mrs Smith'. Hmm, those boots went up all the way...
You men and dominatrixes....so, what you're saying is you'd love it if I slapped you around more. I can do that.
-Richard Gere as Zack Mayo carries Paula out of the factory in 'An Officer and a Gentleman'.
Oh, the movie otherwise known as 'Wow, That Chick is a Crazy Biatch Ho!'
-That scene in 'Blue Velvet' where Isabella Rosselini, on her knees, makes Kyle MacLachlan strip while threatening him with a knife, and then forcing him to stand still as she starts to ah...heheh....well, you know.
'Forcing him'.....riiiight, I bet he was just DYING to get away.
-Kate Beckinsale in 'Underworld', in that vinyl catsuit...well, pretty much every scene she's wearing that...
And again with the dominatrixy outfits....seriously, I'm starting to see a pattern here.
Good, because I already ordered your catsuit...
Hey!
-Spike and Buffy get...close on the balcony.
Yeah, I got nothing. That was hot.
Boss: 'Those of you who got good ratings this year have just raised the bar, so you'll have to do even better next year to get the same rating.'
Employee(aside) 'So if we just whack the high performers, the bar will lower back to a manageable level.'
New Person: 'Where's the color printer?'
Old person: *Laughs in New Person's Face and hands her some colored highlighters*
Random Employee: 'My Wii Fit chastised me last night for not playing enough. And then it told my boyfriend on me! And then it told me I should tell my boyfriend I think he looks good. Since when does Nintendo do relationship counseling?'
Depressed Random Employee: 'So I just got an email that our pension plan is being taken away!'
Boss Attempting to be Comforting: 'Just be lucky you all have a job at this point.'
Disgruntled client: 'I want to speak to your supervisor!'
Employee: 'She's in meetings all day, she'll have to call you back.'
Client: 'Then I want to speak to her assistant.'
Employee: 'She doesn't have an assistant.'
Client: 'No, that won't work. I want the name of someone higher than your supervisor.'
(*Because you ain't no one if you don't have an assistant!*)
Random Employee: 'I don't want to get married. Cuz if I die, my wife will get my money and spend it on a new person.'
HR: 'You seem like a tight-knit team. What would you do if a new person came on?'
Employee: 'Beat them into submission and harass them until they conform.'
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